Women are Hardwired for Pleasure

Women are Hardwired for Pleasure

As a woman who is continually learning about the mysteries of the feminine, it’s not surprising that every now and then my thinking or awareness is challenged. Like being told that we are all hardwired for pleasure. That’s something I hadn’t really considered before, but Truth has an uncanny knack of making what’s so very obvious become very visible.

A couple of weekends ago I attended a weekend workshop with Saida Desilets who teaches women around the world how to come home to, and honour their true erotic nature as feminine, succulent, sensual women. Saida’s work is extraordinary. Firstly, because there’s no one else out there quite teaching this kind of work and secondly, because she lives and breathes what she teaches.  It’s rare to meet a woman who is very ‘alive’ in every sense of the word, who is vibrant and who has a strong feminine presence.

Now when you consider that we are hardwired for pleasure, you are probably thinking about the pleasure intimacy gives us, but in fact, what Saida teaches is that intimacy is actually only a small portion of what’s available to us all. For instance, we are sensory beings – we have the ability to smell, to taste, to touch, to see, to hear, and when we tune into and become more present to our senses, we reach new heights of pleasure. Remember the last time you smelt a beautiful rose. It evokes something doesn’t it? Maybe it makes you feel sensual? Or alive? Or love?  Remember the last time you swam in the sea or held a newborn baby, or had a massage. Pleasure feeds our senses, and in turn, our senses open us up to pleasure. Pleasure keeps us alive and vibrant and energised.

When we start to feel and sense pleasure, it also feeds us sexually – our sexual energy is awakened and transformed into vitality and succulence and it’s from this space that we start to engage in and fully ‘live’ life.

While we may be hardwired for pleasure, I’ve noticed that many of us (myself included), don’t stop to allow this energy to penetrate our daily lives. In fact, some of us may even believe that it’s wrong or bad to experience pleasure. Or maybe some of us think experiencing pleasure is a little self-absorbing? Or that pleasure should be saved for a rainy day? We’re so busy that our day doesn’t include time for pleasure, which in turn doesn’t feed our ‘aliveness’ or our ‘vibrancy’. In fact, being busy keeps us separate from being true to our essential nature.

Pleasure is our birthright. We’re hardwired for pleasure, yet we have to choose to receive and honour it, with the knowledge that it feeds our very essence as succulent, feminine women. When we participate, own and consciously absorb our own pleasure, we become more alive and more vibrant beings.

I am such an advocate for women being true and authentic to whom they are as nature intended. Given we are so genetically hardwired for pleasure, surely we must honour this truth. Surely we must honour what IS.

Coming home to the women we truly are, doesn’t appear particularly foreign or even that difficult as somehow I feel deep down women already know this work. It’s in our DNA. We’ve just forgotten about it. So it’s a true blessing that Saida is here to remind us and to lead us back to what is ours to be rightfully reclaimed.

If you are a woman who desires to live a vibrant and succulent life, I would encourage you to embrace pleasure on a daily basis and see what happens. Don’t wait for the moment when you’re run down and depleted to finally engage in pleasure – that moment may be too late.


Here are some key points from Saida’s workshop that really resonated with me:

  • Our essential nature is the pulse we call ‘life’
  • Make a choice to be alive everyday
  • Erotic nature thrives on authenticity. Show up exactly as how you feel – then you will feel more aliveness
  • Risk revealing what’s authentically there, then you’ll feel more alive
  • Look at your daily habits in your life. Habit does not equal erotic aliveness
  • Keep your relationship alive
  • Our biggest gift is to be true to what is
  • Our erotic nature includes all of us. Our mind, body, energy, our Eros, our energy, our chakras, our intuition
  • Be authentic and be alive to that
  • Ask yourself daily…Am I making a choice to juice me up or to close me down to life
  • Feeling/seeing pleasures feeds you sexually

For further information about Saida and upcoming workshops around the world, visit her website.

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